Drinking food that’s so wrong but oh so right

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Cheesy, greasy, salty poutine

I last wrote about lovely Greek Easter family traditions and cooking sessions with my yiayias. Honest, good clean fun.

Which is precisely why I’m now compelled to write about something down and dirty. To keep the balance.

Today it’s all about outrageous, positively indecent (and calorie-defying) drinking food. This idea came to me recently while I was drinking (alcoholic) ginger beer with a Canadian friend in a Canadian bar. There was only one thing to order in that situation.

‘One poutine please’.

If you think poutine sounds French, that’s because it is – or at least it hails from French speaking Quebec. Chunky fries are topped with brown gravy and cheese curds so the whole thing is a greasy, salty, cheesy mess. A pretty tasty mess to be fair.

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Ginger beer to cut through the grease

According to my sidekick Ving, this was not poutine in its true form – partly because we just don’t make cheese curds in the same way the Canadians do. But he felt the sentiment was there. Apparently McDonald’s does a version in Canada – I’m not entirely confident about how that might taste.

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Chips topped with gooey melted cheese

Poutine is pretty closely related to the cheesy chips that you see on pub menus far and wide throughout the UK. My favourite was a version I came across in Tresco (while snacking on scotch eggs naturally). Good old fashioned chips are drowned with melted cheese so there’s nothing sophisticated going on there but they certainly go down well when you’re drinking copious amounts of local cider.

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Crispy, crunchy, chicharrones

While we’re on the topic of fried foods, it doesn’t get much more debaucherous that chicharrónes or fried pork rinds. That’s where they take something already extremely fatty and proceed to deep fry it to really amp up the fat factor. Sounds like something Homer Simpson would eat. Read More

My cheesiest post yet

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Swedish ‘caramel’ cheese

No really. This will officially be my cheesiest post, based on weight of course.

Sure, I’ve covered raclette in depth, while other cheeses have popped up in random posts, but this time I’m going all out with a full dairy overload. Here are five very special cheeses that I haven’t stopped thinking about.

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Oscypek display at a market in Krakow

Let’s start in Poland. I had read about oscypek – a protected smoked cheese from the Tatra Mountains, so it was on my radar. The cheese gods were clearly looking down on me on that trip because within ten minutes of alighting at Krakow train station, Maz and I stumbled across a food market with an entire stand dedicated to oscypek. Score!

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This poor woman had to deal with oscypek groupies (i.e. us) every night

Made from salted sheep and cow milk, the cheese is formed into decorative shapes, brined and cured in hot smoke. Each little cheese is heated to order on the barbeque and served with a dollop of cranberry sauce.

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Oscypek with cranberry jam – absolutely sensational

The sharp, salty, smoked ooziness of the cheese was sublime with the fruity tang of the cranberry. We loved it so much we had seconds that night and came back the following two nights. I think the lady at the stand thought we were a bit strange. This was a culinary highlight of the year and I’m on a mission to track it down in Sydney.

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Romanian cheese display in Bran, just below Dracula’s castle

The award for the most bizarre looking cheese on the list would go to this Romanian beauty. The first time I spotted it in a market outside of Dracula’s ‘castle’, I wasn’t exactly sure what I was dealing with. Small pieces of fire wood? Bit odd to find that in the cheese display. Maybe a derivative of fresh coconut? But then it was winter in eastern Europe, not exactly a climate in which one would expect a tropical fruit. After a bit of investigation I discovered it was cheese in bark. Why hadn’t I thought of that before? Read More

The Budapest bars that would be illegal anywhere else

Szimpla was Budapest's first ruin pub

Szimpla was Budapest’s first ruin pub

I remember the thought that flashed through my mind when I walked into my first ruin pub in Budapest.

This is an OH&S disaster, you would never see this in Sydney, or London, or possibly anywhere else for that matter!

That’s because ruin pubs, as the name suggests, lie within dilapidated shells of abandoned buildings. They predominantly sit in the old Jewish quarter which was left to decay after WWII. In any other city there would be a wrecking ball around the corner, but in Budapest some inspired drinkers decided they might be good for something and slowly they have turned into drinking and party meccas.

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The owl at Instant looks over the crowd protectively if not a little weirdly

This neighbourhood now includes dozens of ruin pubs, all characterised by flea market furniture, psychedelic interiors and an intense feeling you’ve just fallen down the rabbit hole.

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You could actually visit Instant every day, there is that much going on

I had two favourites, the first was Instant (pronounced Inshtant by Hungarians) which takes up an entire former tenement apartment . Within its 23 rooms it offers themed dancer floors, furniture pinned to the ceiling and giant flying owls overlooking the floor. They are fake but you’ll have to look twice.

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The slightly shabby façade of Szimpla

The second was Szimpla, which happened to be the very first ruin pub, kicking off the trend in 2001. It has a fabulous courtyard where you can sit in an old communist Trabant car, order from the vitamin bar, check out the graffiti art, catch films and theatre or rent a bike.

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My favourite part of Szimpla relates to food, of course, and was the farmer’s market that takes place every Sunday. Their mission is to connect the city crowd with local farmers and judging by the crowds, it’s certainly working.

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The giant courtyard is dotted with stalls laden with farm-fresh produce including cheese, fruit and vegetables, honey, cured meats, fruit cordials and homemade pastries. Vendors are friendly and they offer generous samples.

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I spent a good twenty minutes hovering by the truffle stand, if only because I couldn’t believe how many there were, how big they were and how cheap!

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I loved the truffle butter but seeing as I was not going to be near a fridge all day I opted for the truffle salt which had chunks of fresh truffle dotted throughout and proffered the most intense truffle scent I’d ever encountered. A good sized jar was 1800HUF or €4.50 – bargain! Read More

Zurich Christmas Markets

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Christmas market in Zurich old town

At this time of year, most European cities are filled with twinkling lights, roast chestnut stands and the heady scent of cinnamon and mulled wine in the air. It’s a compelling argument for a white Christmas.

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Christkindlimarkt in Zurich Hauptbahnhof

Zurich really gets in on the Christmas cheer with seven markets strewn through the city. The flagship is the Christkindlimarkt in the main station or Hauptbahnhof, one of Europe’s largest indoor Christmas markets.

The cavernous space is filled with over 150 stalls, many with a distinct Germanic feel given Zurich sits in the German speaking part of Switzerland.

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You’re looking at 7,000 Swarovski crystals

The highlight for most visitors is the 15 metre tall Christmas tree decorated with 7,000 sparkling Swarovski crystals. And to be fair, it is rather impressive.

Of course the highlight for me was the amazing range of food on offer, some of which is only available during the festive season.

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Let’s start with the cheese. The Swiss churn out plenty of the stuff and it towered in tempting displays; giant wheels encased in vine leaves or crushed raisins, white rinds stuffed with truffle butter and topped with shaved truffle, even whisky käse. And of course there was plenty of raclette, pimped up with shaved truffle if you fancied.

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One of my favourite festive treats is always the German Christmas cake, stollen. It’s a dense, buttery cake studded with dried fruit and candied citrus peel, occasionally marzipan, and topped with icing sugar.

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The original Dresdner stollen

The recipe originated in Dresden in the 15th Century and remains the most famous version. Dresdner stollen can legally be made by only 150 Dresden-based bakers and is distinguished by a special seal depicting King Augustus II.

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Apple fritters with custard

Before long my local friends, Michael and Karin, steered us towards the Apfelhuis stand for some delicious apple fritters swimming in custard. Having now been to a dozen or so German Christmas markets, I can safely say that you will never find a whiff of fresh produce in one. Fried, battered, pickled and preserved is what it’s all about.

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Grittibaenz are eaten on St. Nicholas Day

Swiss Germans mark St. Nicholas Day on 6 December by eating traditional sweet bread baked into the shape of a man with raisins for eyes and a chocolate ‘stick’. This fella is called Grittibaenz and represents an early form of Santa.

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Lussekatt are eaten on St. Lucia Day

I was pleasantly surprised to encounter a Swedish stand offering lussekatt. These saffron tinged buns are traditionally eaten on St. Lucia Day on 13 December to celebrate the festival of light. I have happy memories of baking them with my Swedish friend Johan and they taste just like brioche with a soft yellow hue from the saffron.

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Pretty lebkuchen for your loved ones

I think the most picturesque stand at any Christmas market is always the one embellished with gingerbread hearts or lebkuchen. Hanging from ribbons and displaying cute phrases, the idea is to give them to loved ones to express your feelings.

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I can usually be found near the glühwein stand

The busiest stand of course, is almost always the glühwein stand. It’s usually my first port of call so I can then wander through the markets sipping a cup of intoxicating wine spiked with the flavours of cinnamon, vanilla, cloves and citrus.

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Red glühwein for me please

I was pleasantly surprised to see red and white wine versions on offer but red inevitably wins my heart every time. In my eyes, the only downside of a hot Southern Hemmisphere Christmas is the impracticality of serving this aromatic concoction. Maybe I’ll look into a chilled version this year…

Do you have a favourite Christmas market find? Please do share!

Raclette – the heart stopping cheese

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Raclette. The word drips off the palate as beautifully as the cheese melts.

I don’t need to convince anyone about the merits of melted cheese. But once you’ve discovered raclette you´ll never look at melted cheese in the same way again.

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A wheel of raclette cheese

Raclette is an aromatic, semi-firm cow´s milk cheese from Switzerland, usually fashioned into 6kg wheels.

Legend has it that Swiss farmers from the Valais canton set up camp one night and some bits of cheese they’d left on rocks near the fire melted. They scraped the cheese off and discovered it was delicious. Raclette (from the French racler meaning ´to scrape´) was born.

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Raclette from Borough Markets in London

Raclette is now one of Switzerland´s most cherished national dishes, vying only with distant relative fondue for cheesy supremacy.

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You can smell the raclette at Borough Market from a mile away

The modern way of cooking raclette doesn´t involve any rocks. When produced on a large scale, like at Borough Market in London, half wheels of raclette are heated from above by a special machine, then scraped onto small boiled potatoes, gherkins, pickled onions and charcuterie.

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Raclette slices melt in small pans under the hot plate

The electric home kits are pretty nifty too. They include small pans in which to melt individual slabs of raclette, and a hot plate for cooking bacon, sausages and anything else you fancy.

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The Swiss are masters at DIY raclette

I was lucky enough to have raclette with my friends Michael and Karin in Zurich and they really pulled out all the stops. Once individual raclette slices were cooked to our liking, we simply poured the melting goodness on top of potatoes, mushrooms, marinated artichokes, sausages, bacon and other tasty accoutrements.

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Melted raclette ready to be poured over the food on my plate

A crisp white wine is the perfect accompaniment to cut through the creaminess of the cheese. Kirsch, cherry flavoured brandy, is also a popular match and comes from the same region that raclette originated.

Has anyone experienced a fabulous raclette outside of Switzerland?